Last Friday, they got rid of the Old Man finally. I felt bad for him because I liked him and I didn't heistate to help him when he asked it of me. However, I knew he wasn't right for this business. He was getting angry all the time because he couldn't remember anything. He was 78 years old. In order for him to be "effective" in this business, he could have had to have joined us 9 years ago. It's a shame but that's what happens when your tech. You bite the bullet and move on.
Now if I can just get them to get rid of the idiot sitting next to me . . . . . . .
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Dear God, help us
"Yeah, I've never understood that. What is Accounts Recievable?"
~customer with no accounting degree
Maybe I should start my own business. Judging from what I've seen? It's not that hard, apparently.
~customer with no accounting degree
Maybe I should start my own business. Judging from what I've seen? It's not that hard, apparently.
OH . . . ..really?
"I'm also a product specialist and I have no time for your questions."
~customer who really isn't a customer but a product specialist who has no time for my questions.
~customer who really isn't a customer but a product specialist who has no time for my questions.
Deep Question
"Do you want me at my machine?"
~new customer
No, I want you in the kitchen, pouring orange juice down your pants, HELL, YES, I WANT YOU AT THE MACHINE!!!!
~new customer
No, I want you in the kitchen, pouring orange juice down your pants, HELL, YES, I WANT YOU AT THE MACHINE!!!!
About to Make a backup and . . . .
"So . . . .should I save?"
~ customer
Yeah, you should save but what do I know? I'm just in tech support.
~ customer
Yeah, you should save but what do I know? I'm just in tech support.
Undecided
"should I click agree?"
~customer who will be waiting a long time to decide to install the program.
YES, YOU SHOULD MOTHERF**KING CLICK I AGREE!!!!!
~customer who will be waiting a long time to decide to install the program.
YES, YOU SHOULD MOTHERF**KING CLICK I AGREE!!!!!
Memory
"I don't like having to remember stuff."
~Customer who wished they were in the 2001: Space Odyssey movie.
~Customer who wished they were in the 2001: Space Odyssey movie.
The Sticky Floor
Sometimes there are certain things you take for granted. Four working tires on your car. The ease of getting a McDonalds burger. Decent weather. The price of a good pair of shoes.
and a clean floor in the Men's room.
I was in there one day, doing what most men do in the men's room. My CEO happened to be in there with me. After were done with our "business" we walked toward the sink to wash on hands. On that small journey, our shoes make the "clack, click, clack" sound of a sticky floor. As my boss was drying his hands, he looked at the floor and nonchalantly said, "I really don't care that the floor is sticky . . .I'm concerned WHY the floor is sticky."
Why, indeed, sir.
and a clean floor in the Men's room.
I was in there one day, doing what most men do in the men's room. My CEO happened to be in there with me. After were done with our "business" we walked toward the sink to wash on hands. On that small journey, our shoes make the "clack, click, clack" sound of a sticky floor. As my boss was drying his hands, he looked at the floor and nonchalantly said, "I really don't care that the floor is sticky . . .I'm concerned WHY the floor is sticky."
Why, indeed, sir.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
A Day that will live in Infamy
I was assisting a customer installing the program and the database platform wouldn't install. I asked him if he had the latest service release and he said YES. I asked him if he was on Service Pack 2 or higher. He said YES.
I said, Let's check.
He screamed, Can't take my word for it, eh?"
Out of my mouth I said, I just want to confirm, sir.
In my brain, I said YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, I CAN'T TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT!!! NINTEY PERCENT OF MY CUSTOMERS DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BELIEVE THE REMAINING TEN PERCENT?????
Needless to say, he was on service pack 2. So I had him do a cold boot and for all the kids at home, that means TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND LEAVE IT OFF FOR 2 MINUTES. Then once it booted back up, we tried the installation again. It worked.
Why would this day live in infamy? He apologized for being rude. A CUSTOMER ACTUALLY APOLOGIZED for being rude.
Wow. I was nearly moved to tears.
Nearly.
I said, Let's check.
He screamed, Can't take my word for it, eh?"
Out of my mouth I said, I just want to confirm, sir.
In my brain, I said YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, I CAN'T TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT!!! NINTEY PERCENT OF MY CUSTOMERS DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BELIEVE THE REMAINING TEN PERCENT?????
Needless to say, he was on service pack 2. So I had him do a cold boot and for all the kids at home, that means TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND LEAVE IT OFF FOR 2 MINUTES. Then once it booted back up, we tried the installation again. It worked.
Why would this day live in infamy? He apologized for being rude. A CUSTOMER ACTUALLY APOLOGIZED for being rude.
Wow. I was nearly moved to tears.
Nearly.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tech Support or a Scene from 24?
If you worked with me, you'd understand it's not that different.
Wait . . .the baldguy is missing his headset.
Joann has a Problem
I'm not sure Tech support is gonna be able to help you with that, Honey.
I mean, look, the Log isn't even plugged in. :)
Can this job get any harder?
"The Monitor? Thats the thing that looks like a TV, right?"
~Customer who is probably wanting to watch Regis and Kelly
~Customer who is probably wanting to watch Regis and Kelly
Oh, Lord . . .
"I'm not sure what you mean by "Backup"?"
~Customer who will probably be recreating a LOT of data
~Customer who will probably be recreating a LOT of data
Ask a Dumb Question . . . .
"There are no folders on my Desktop. Only pens and a coffe mug."
~Customer who is probably 69 years old.
~Customer who is probably 69 years old.
Pray, maybe?
"My caps lock is stuck. I can't type in my password. What should I do?"
~Customer who doesn't know the difference between HARDWARE PROBLEMS and SOFTWARE PROBLEMS.
~Customer who doesn't know the difference between HARDWARE PROBLEMS and SOFTWARE PROBLEMS.
Can You Believe This?
"The PERIOD? That's next to the "M" on the keyboard, right?"
~Customer Who Just Caused the Tech to Faint
~Customer Who Just Caused the Tech to Faint
Do the Math
One gig of ram divided by Vista plus a 60 year old computer user equals forty five minutes just to register the program.
You think I'm kidding?
You think I'm kidding?
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